I am quite okay with being significantly below average in these areas because I don’t have room for shame in my life. I am too forgiven and adored and full of ideas to waste time with something imaginary like shame or embarrassment. Plus, I have never claimed to be a fingernail painting expert, because painting your own nails is hard and because WE CAN'T ALL BE SYDNEY SHRUM.
I have become well accustomed to the shocked silence that follows basically anything I say about cooking or shoes or fashion or my lack of participation in politics. Like the time I told Beef that I had never changed out my make up sponge since maybe middle school, and she politely asked me to shut the hell up and get out of her house. She didn’t actually say those words, but the look of horror on her face said it for her.
Anyways, I am good at other things. I am good at eye makeup and teasing my hair. This should shock everyone to his or her absolute core. I am a quick learner and coordinated, and so I am good at picking up new skills. I am the BEST at being accident-prone, because I can get hurt doing almost anything. I am good at arts & crafts and bonding with teenagers. I am good at getting food in my teeth, hair and eyebrows and good at laughing hard. I am good at empathy, encouragement, and telling stories (even if they are often grossly exaggerated).
Today I’ve been thinking about some of the people I love in my life and how they are SO good at SO many hard things. They all mesmerize me with all their showy giftedness, because I cannot do the things they can do. Some of their gifts are crucial and obviously helpful, and others are odd and unique. I love how different they all are. Becca could not be anymore Bethany's opposite and each one is so very crucial to the rest of us.
I desperately want to encourage my friends in their specific gifts, probably because encouragement is one of mine. Each girl in my life is the best at something, and I want to tell her over and over how much we need her to keep on doing what she does best. We need all the gifts so we can all be complete. Jesus even says so in Ephesians that we all have to do what we were made to do so that all the parts work together and the body can grow and build itself up in love, with Christ as the head. This makes a lot of sense to me. (NOTE: We need all the boys to use their gifts too, like Carson with all of his unspeakable joy.)
BUT THE GIRLS! WOW. The girls are so talented and special and needed. There is no substitute on God's green earth for girlfriends.
Beef is the BEST at sending greeting cards via snail mail. Thank you, Congratulations, Happy Birthday! She takes the time to drive to the store, purchase a card, write something special in it, put postage on it and then deliver it to the literal mailbox so that it magically makes it's way to our houses, sometimes clear across the country. This is absolutely unbelievable to me. Beef never skips a beat with greeting cards. Every significant event in my life has been followed or preceded with a note of encouragement inside a Hallmark card from Beef. (She is also phenomenal at decorating a house and if you have ever been to any house she has lived in, you wouldn't need any further explanation.)
My friend Sydney has the gift of hostessing. She doesn't just use her home to hostess, she uses her whole heart like she was made for it. It comes so naturally to her. I like watching her at the parties she throws because her gift is so fascinatingly foreign to me. She throws open her doors and invites us in, feeds us, celebrates, laughs and cries with us. When we are at Sydney's, we all feel like we're at home but it's better than home because there's also good food there. And cable. And an adequate amount of seating. Being a hostess doesn't stress her out; she loves it. She thrives in it. Welcoming people in is her gift, and she is therefore front and center as the reason Dallas feels like home for me.
Alyssa is the bravest adventurer I know. She's been running around the world for as long as I've known her to explore and travel and meet all the beautiful people and she doesn't plan to stop. I wish I could hop in her backpack because if I could trade lives with anyone in the world, it would be Alyssa. She laughs wildly at every single thing and everyone wants to be around her so that maybe some of her whimsy will spill over onto us.
Karla listens to people like what they are saying is the most important thing that has ever been said. She asks questions and we all think we are her MOST treasured friend because she has the ability to make us all feel like we really, truly matter. It blesses me all the way down to my toes.
Addie can run forever and not get tired. This might be the most confusing gift of all, but oh how I want her to keep on running. I want her to run and run and for her shins to never hurt and for her shoes to always be bright pink. I want to cheer madly when she crosses another finish line because running brings her joy and satisfaction. You can see it on her face and it is contagious.
Kallyn can plan and execute any event on the planet. Her gift is vision. I have zero detail-oriented skills and it's probably because she is hoarding all of them. Kallyn thinks of details in advance that no one in the history of ever would have thought of. Her gift is organization and efficiency. Every good thing that happened at Valor was directly correlated with Kallyn's involvement. And she does it while making everyone laugh like hyenas.
Bethany. I want Bethany to keep on loving the homeless and the hurting like they are her own family because to her, they are. I want to hug her so tight when her heart explodes once again for the sake of another. She has a gift for loving those in the margin in a way that makes all of us just stare at her in amazement. Bethany’s heart makes us all feel warm and fuzzy and HOPEFUL, like the promise is true that there is a better world than the one that we see with our eyes because we all know that somehow Bethany is already living in it.
Becca has a gift of making people feel less alone. Her ferocity and authenticity draws us in because we are intrigued by her realness, and she reminds us that Jesus is there with us. That he understands too. She can relate to anyone, and I think we all feel like she really “gets us.” Becca can speak to the deepest places in all of our hearts, and draw out the hurts, fears, and thoughts that no one ever speaks of with anyone else. Becca makes us feel important.
Emily has the gift of food preparation and cooking. Nuts. When people come to my house, I grab my sister by the shoulders in a panic and say: “WHAT DO PEOPLE EAT?!” Because that’s the thing. I don’t know what people eat and even if I did know what people ate, I wouldn’t know how to prepare that thing.Emily can read a recipe and make those words edible and then serve that food in an acceptable dish straight out of a magazine. Like for example, she has different shaped glasses for water and wine. This is not a luxury you will find at my house, but for Emily it comes naturally, and so we all feel special and privileged at her house.
Lindsay’s gift is quick wit. She can do a lot of things well, but when it comes to wit – no one can out-wit Lindsay.
Cara is a peacemaker. She is constant, steady. She both loves and forgives quickly and there is a level of consistency with her that is unwavering.
Megan has a gift of service. She actually LIKES to do things for other people, just for the sake of doing them, to make them feel loved. She can anticipate a need before anyone knows there is a need, and meet it. Like the time when I turned 22 and nobody cared except Megan. My tone on the phone hinted a need for something and by the time I got to her house, Megan had baked a cake, hung streamers, and organized a night of adventure for me on the fly. Even her speech pathology career is centered around her desire to serve others.
And Brittney, my dear sweet littlest sister, her gift is LOYALTY and wisdom. Brittney makes everyone feel safe, because we all know that she’s not going anywhere. I maintain that God equipped her with an overdose of this gift because He knew that her big sister would be crippled with abandonment issues, and would desperately need someone to stick around for all the ups and downs. Unmoveable. Unshakeable. She is the person to call in crisis, celebration and everything in between. Brittney will listen to any amount of crazy, completely un-phased, and then after you’ve exhausted every ounce of your idiocy, she will offer you about 2 sentences of advice to sum up the hour’s worth of crying you just threw at her. And everything will make sense in the world for a hot minute, because that’s what she does. She creates order out of chaos. Brittney is the one who can make us all finally believe that we are going to be okay. And that even if we aren’t, she will be there. Hers is my favorite gift of all the gifts because she wears it so boldly, fiercely and beautifully - like a cape.
Girls: Keep on doing hard things! We need you. For me, it's writing. Writing and expressing myself effectively gives me joy just by doing that thing, even when blank pages stare at me for hours because writing is hard. My hope is to write things that encourage, build up, and help because I don't want to squander the gifts I am given. I want to keep telling stories and my ADHD has less of an effect on my words when they are written down. So I am going to tell fear to shut up (again) and keep on writing.
There is hope for all of us if we all work together. The world is exhausting and overwhelming and if you think that is dramatic, please pay very close attention to the evening news. But then, in the midst of all that, there is all this goodness to be found. That Jesus! He gets it.
Ephesians 4:15-16 “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.”
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